The Cryptic Soul

eyes cry when feelings get crushed , it breaks and it echoes a lot but never gets heard  dates back to the time when he was kind , he was humble ,he used to care and his eyes used to get moist in the pain of others , he used to love but the story doesn't ends there , it starts again and this time behind his eyes is a bad man , who is hated , who tells lies , whose dreams and whose love is now just a vengeance , people don't trust him, blame replaced faith and he is now all alone,he is desolated , he doesn't gives a damn to others now , don't mistake him for a kind of person who even gives a shit , and you know why ?, just because he is a capital B A D man .  he is now a loner , he is sad , no juice in his life , no love , no friends who trust, just a bunch of people who approach when they need to get the shit out, he is hated , he is defeated and he discovers a new state of loneliness everyday , he is now obsessed with what he does as he fulfills hi...

eyes cry i laugh , i smile , i never cry , i say i am too strong , i say i can handle anything, i am the master of my emotions but then a sound deep inside echoes ,"who are u kidding?", and i say ,"myself" . I get numb , i don't know why but ya i do, looks like i m all alone and my eyes speak it all and you know what i ferry through this gloomy lane everyday, sometimes i think i should quit but is it the real solution? , i don't know but at least i ll be free from loads of expectations and i ll no longer annoy people whom i care for, whom i live this life for , who are the source of my everyday excitement and happiness. Nobody understood me and i don't expect people to understand me too, they ask, why do you laugh too much? ,and deep inside i say just to hide my tears, pain kills and it kills more when you have no one to share it , my laughter, my mindset this is just a way  to reduce it, just a way to suppress my everyday desolation, it helps me ...

50 bucks in pocket and feeling as if you are the richest , having a frooti in hand and feeling way way above the moon, enjoying every sip till the last , sulking over for no reasons , the time when "one tip one hand", with friends was just my small sweet world. life moved on and so did me, years passed and 50 changed to the amount i am still in search for, redbull and gatorade took the trend, "one tip one hand", was lost , all those friends too and even those lanes. i was oblivious of what was happening and also to the warning but today looking back at those twenty years and getting nostalgic , i feel life has not taken a turn , it probably has changed it's lane.   a carefree kid to a reserved teenager and now i am hanging around somewhere in between , i don't know but  still you got to except what life bakes for us. A lot of things have changed like, now many things could be done without permissions, no higher command on your head everytime, increase...

Mind Relaxation Music 

8:20pm and i am smiling , my mother comes into my room and she looks at me , looks at me again ,i look at her and she gives me a weird look and says me "whats wrong with u ?, are u out of your minds?" , just because i was sitting and giggling for no reasons, i had my project under completion, i had a lot of stuff under my belt to work upon but still no tension whatsoever and i was sitting idle and giggling. Now that's not strange for some of you as you might have experienced it before, just take this "assume you got great tension boiling in the vessel which separates human from an animal :-D and along with that you got a lot of work to put your eyes on , you got no one around to share your frustration with and you somewhat feel like rejected, then suddenly from no where someone appears, u talk your heart out to them and you feel absolutely majestic after that !", now how many of you have experienced it before ? and how does that feel.  Same was with me...

                                 the video and voice say it alllll :(

Date: 18th march 2012 Time: 1:00 pm i want to tell u something tears don't stop but words do and so i pen this down ! This is the diary of a shirty, i feel like a failure,my life doesn't work, i am tired of myself and i am tired of begging even.  got off my bed, took my sleepers , went out of my house and the surroundings looked totally calm, silence in the air was killing me , the nature all around looked composed except the heart within. the roars of anxiety were resonating deep within me and no way out seemed possible.                                                                                               i was pulled towards the gloom. every ray seemed to be dormant and i took a shine to darkness.        ...

Sitting on net complimenting people and "thanks a lot !", are the common words u get across , and i am sick of answering them in a usual mundane fashion of "u r welcome" or "my pleasure", so  i decided to search a little and let it be different and spicy this time , to stuff our reply with a tinge of newness . take my words your reply wont be that same again ....  Replies to thank you in various languages , enjoy the variety ! Hindi su swagat Spanish de (pronounced as day) nada German Mit Vergnügen (With pleasure) Kein Problem (No problem) Vielen Dank (Many thanks) French  De rien! (der ree-en) Je t'en prie! (used with friends, means that you are truly thankful) Korean Chonmaneyo Urdu Koi Baat Nahin! Japanese  Dou itashimashite i hope this was informative and take my words , your replies will provide u the much needed significance ! guns loaded get ready to fire now :)

Felt devastated as if everything was going against me that day , the wave of extreme frustration overtook me to the shore of anger where lied nothing but another level where i felt so lonely , i felt like i should talk to someone and vomit my heart out , the more i thought about it the more the waves took me into the pit of frustration and so i decided to hamper it and call some of my best buddies. Even in the ocean of friendship my boat sailed without the sailor , i called the first one , he said w8 and i m still waiting , 2 of them said they got a report to form and the fourth didn’t replied even . My frustration started moving in the direction of my buddies and i felt so bad that people who i used to take time out for, do not even have several minutes for me in their schedule , ridiculous ! now was i too mad to make myself free for them or are they too clever to make my use , I don’t know and the more i think on it the more i go into the drain of my memories where lies nothing b...

4 am and my mind is still wandering in the vicinity of what happened yesterday , the more i think , the more my mind slips into the lane where i feel devastated and an extreme wave of self guilt just took me over. i just couldn't resist to talk but i knew she won't. the day before "i called her and invited for a meet , but so stupid i was that i got so caught up in my performance that i didn't had a single thought that someone's waiting :( " , i didn't went to even see her performance in spite of her making me a call . i was into my own world with my group of musicians.  and to add i repeated the same next day  " but that was not intentional " , i said and she cut the phone , i called again and again and finally she talked and i just heard her voice , it was shaky , and she was hurt to the extent that even the silence said a thousand words at that moment , i went into an extreme state of self guilt and this is all i could say.  and what mor...

It was just another Saturday morning i opened my account and just had a blank mind but a zeal to do something different today , nit that usual likes and simple comments but to do something filled with spice of argument , i was browsing through the recent stories and yeah , here comes one , no comments on it till now and i got my prey ;) . i just had nothing to say , nothing at all and you know what , this post is for you when u too feel same and then what to do ? , is here , have a look at the snaps i provided where i applied this with my friend ;) coping strategies 1. always remember at the unconscious level that you are just there and you already have it all within what u need ! continued in next snap .... 2. When u have nothing to say , make others run their tongue. 3.Making people justify themselves gives you the needed breathing space. 4. Questions  are the best attack when you have nothing in your favor and to add they are the best...

going back into the deep memory lane where lies nothing but darkness and realities of how much rude people have been , no light of kindness expect the ray of love by family overshadowed by the cruelty of the world outside who treat humans like toolboxes. This is somewhat funny , i was just thinking , how come everyone has so much time to hurt me always ? , i mean i just can't stop myself from laughing that every time i help someone why do i get in return a harsh end , i m sick of it now , i don't feel like helping people , i just feel like i should only mend my own ways let people brick their walls themselves , let them be the drivers of their own destinations and probably they are for them i m just a signboard. Now , sometimes do you feel the same , do you feel like doing good for people sometimes doesn't pays the way we expect it to be and sometimes suddenly their is an outburst where it was least expected . thinking all day about it and listening to some audio's ...

My friend said to me  "you know what , i was such a good girl to him but he left me" and she just felt back into tears , i just had nothing to say i stayed numb and i knew i didn't had the answer. Something really screwed my head up , i was feeling "what the heck is prevailing in this world ?, why every time the good ones have to sacrifice , why don't i get results at good efforts ", and possibly i have an answer now , the problem is not with world , its not even with the people around me , the problem lies inside of me, you might be a bit surprised but let me tell u "good efforts always take the poor rewards", and remember poor efforts lead to NO rewards. now this seems quite interesting , in the race we have developed a habit to be good at things , i remember when i got a "good" remark on my notebook when i was a kid i used to feel like i m on cloud nine but now facing the real life challenges and situations it makes me feel sorry...

I didn't found her, the gate was locked and the bell was ringing and ringing and ringing , no response from other side , i called her and the same was with the phone with every call i made and got no response my anger and my anxiety kept on building, finally after waiting for 20 minutes i recalled that she might had gone to her friends home  and surely then she will be back by 5pm .  so with 2 hours to go , i just couldn't stand in the front of my gate staring it , so i decided a walk around my colony , with my bread basket empty i started roaming around , started having a walk across the various parks watching the old men and women sitting in groups and enjoying the sunlight and having fun , but i decided to walk more rather than giving my legs a rest.  as i kept walking i saw a man sitting on the sidewalk , i kept walking and starring at him and after a while i was into the deep lane of my imaginations..it was just past 30 min and i was feeling so devastated and frust...

all right so how many of you feel that women are emotional, illogical ,they are not rational in their approach rather they go with the wind of feelings. so let me tell you one thing "you are absolutely incorrect !". they are as much rational and logical as the men are , they take things logically and are as emotional as we are. so if the girls are just rational, emotional and logical as we are where does the differences crop up?  , and the answer to this question is "the basic survival strategies",  now what i mean by this is the primary basic instinct of both the sexes differ , so let me uncover the basic survival instinct of man and woman , here we go : man's survival instinct : so when it comes to the male the basic survival instinct is the physical strength , they look for the way in which their physical strengths can be enhanced and male's is more about achieving and getting, its more about solutions rather than pondering on the problem. female...

"Khatam ho gai", was the spell i had as soon as i gave my last exam and came out of the examination centre, i was thrilled and both challenged as i had a huge list under my belt but who cares a trip to my dad's house was just on to my head. i rushed towards the cab and went straight to my house,my mom was doing the packing and i started mine too ,so finally it was 8:25pm and i was inside the bus and the journey began ...  in nature's lap                                                                                                     it was the same mundane route i used to traverse everyday and that same roadside scenes bored me and thus i slept. suddenly the conductor came and gave us a paper bag at about 4am , openiong my eyes s...